In Sickness and in Health: What I learned from being violently ill on my wedding day

On November 17th, 2012 I married the love of my life in a small ceremony, surrounded by our family and closest friends. It was a sweet and loving experience that I will never forget.

The hours and days following the ceremony were a chaotic nightmare from hell that I will also never forget! It's almost unbelievable how quickly everything fell apart, but we can laugh about it now, and it's definitely an experience worth sharing!

I don't want you to think that I'm bitter and hate married life already, because its actually the opposite! This crazy experience has brought Josh and I even closer together, and has further confirmed to us that we truly need each other, and that getting married when we did was perfect timing for us.

Many of you reading this either attended or were invited to attend our wedding reception that was held at the Morton Arboretum. We made our entrance about an hour late, left an hour early, and the only explanation offered was simply "the bride isn't feeling well".

Let me explain further.

The calm before the storm

After our ceremony, we had a small luncheon where we were again surrounded by our families and close friends. We had a lovely meal, and several heartwarming toasts. It was a beautiful celebration. the Luncheon ended around 1pm and pictures were scheduled to begin at 3pm. Josh and I headed to our hotel where we checked in, unpacked our overnight bags, and planned on taking a nap. At this point I felt a little off, and assumed I was just tired from a busy, emotional day.

However, around 2:45 I found myself on the floor of our hotel bathroom, ready to vomit. I couldn't believe I felt so sick, but I was SURE that if I got it out before the reception, I would feel better.

I didn't end up vomiting, so Josh and I stopped at a convenience store to get scope, a toothbrush, and pepto bismol while on our way to take pictures. Just as a precaution.

We arrived late for pictures, and I quickly began a photo shoot with my bridesmaids. I brought a sprite and a trashcan with me, because I knew it wouldn't be smart to ignore the storm brewin' in my belly while wearing a white wedding gown.

While taking pictures, I managed to smile for the camera, but would burst into tears between each shot. Despite my best efforts, after about 5 minutes, I found myself behind bushes, in a very public place, puking into a trashcan in a bridal gown, surrounded by my bridesmaids. I'm sure it was quite a sight to see! But I did feel a little better, so I said "bring on more pictures!", and we managed to squeeze in a few more shots.

We then went back inside and the photographer told me to relax while Josh took pictures with his groomsmen. I immediately took off my dress, put on one of my bridesmaid's coats (thanks, Kara, I'll pay the dry cleaning bill) and laid down on the floor.

This was when I was hit with the most severe case of the stomach flu I have ever had in my entire life. EVER. And on my wedding day!! We called pharmacies, doctors, friends for advice, but nothing eased my symptoms, so I just stayed on the floor and try to keep down any liquids and medicine I could.

I threw up every 10-15 minutes for the next three hours. My hair was a disaster and make up was running down my face. It was an exhausting and disgusting experience, to say the least.

Around 6:45 (45 minutes after guests began arriving), two of my friends helped me fix my hair and make up, I put on my dress, and I went downstairs with my new husband.

Growing up, I wasn't the little girl who dreamed of her wedding day, but before Josh had even put a ring on my finger, I had big plans for our big day. I had been working tirelessly on this wedding for nearly five months.

When I finally made my way downstairs to the reception, I saw the fruits of my labor come together in a beautiful, elegant, celebration. It went off without a hitch. Everything was perfect, but I was so focused on trying not to throw up while maintaining my status as a charming, beautiful bride, I couldn't really enjoy it.

Our short time at the reception was spent visiting with guests, taking more pictures , and two short dances--one with my dad and one with Josh.

We left an hour later without saying goodbye to anyone.

I didn't get to toss my bouquet, I didn't get to dance with my friends to our favorite songs, and I didn't get to drive away in a car decorated with window paint. My once in a life time night slipped through my fingers!

The morning after

Josh and I went to our hotel room and went straight to bed. The next morning, I didn't want to see or talk to anyone because I was embarrassed, angry, and heartbroken. Josh was so supportive and wonderful, and let me have a sad day. Thankfully, I did feel a little bit better, and was looking forward to leaving for our honeymoon in San Francisco on Monday morning. Josh and I were ready for a fresh start.

The double-whammy

Sunday came and went, and when we woke up on Monday morning to leave for the airport, Josh started throwing up. And didn't stop.

With one call and one mean stomach flu, our honeymoon was now canceled.

Lessons learned

This was a completely crazy (and unlucky) way to start our marriage. But with every negative experience, there is always something positive we can learn from it. Here are a few of the positives I have taken from this experience:

1. Saturday night was a disaster, but Friday night was a night to remember!

On Friday night, our two families met for the first time. We had never had all of us in the same room at the same time, and I was so incredibly anxious and nervous. Despite my doubts and anxieties, the night was perfect! Our two families united in an effortless way that I didn't think was possible, it was amazing to watch! We all laughed and chatted over pizza, we watched our nieces and nephews play together, and we talked with much excitement about the celebrations ahead.

I felt so much love from my two families. My parents and siblings were so supportive, and my new in-laws made me feel like I was a part of their family. Had the reception gone according to plan, I may have failed to recognize how important the casual pizza party was, and may have taken the hugs and kind words exchanged for granted. But now I count that night as one of my most cherished wedding memories!

2.  We love those we serve, and we serve those we love

Josh and I jumped into the nitty-gritty part of marriage pretty fast, that's for sure. It has been said that "we love those we serve, and we serve those we love", and this statement has never been more applicable or true.

I always remember the look of concern Josh had on his face, and the way he refused to leave my side. He laid down on the floor next to me, in his tuxedo, rubbing my back and promising me that it would be okay. Assuring me that I would feel better. He sat right by the bathroom door while I was sick because I told him I needed him to be with me, and he didn't think twice about it. Not once did he complain about missing the party or the food or the attention. He treated me like a princess. A really sick, kinda gross, princess. And I will never forget it!

When Josh woke up sick on Monday, my heart broke for him because I knew how awful he felt. However, I was so grateful for the opportunity to serve the man I love. Actions speak louder than words, and both of us have now had the opportunity to not just talk the talk, but walk the walk.

3. Taking bridals with Josh before the wedding was THE SMARTEST IDEA EVER.

A few weeks before the wedding we took amazing pictures in Chicago with Josh in his tux and me in my gown. Not only did we get to display them at the reception, but it meant I wasn't missing critical picture taking time while I was puking. Phew!

4. Josh and I are married and that's all that matters!!!!

Duh, people! The most important part of the wedding isn't the pictures, or the dancing, or the party! Its the marriage! The most important part is that Josh and I are together! I wouldn't want a million perfect wedding receptions, or even just one perfect wedding reception, if it meant losing Josh. He is my dream come true!

It's all uphill from here

We started our marriage off with a pretty intense trial. Missing out on our wedding celebration and honeymoon could have caused bitterness and contention, but it only brought us closer together. We know that we are in it for the long haul, and we have proved that fact to each other. We can't wait to move past this stomach flu incident so we can avoid real life and have a little bit of a honeymoon.

Our Happy Ending

Don't worry! There is a happy ending update to our tragic tale!

I am putting the finishing touches on this entry from Las Vegas! Last night we both felt okay, and decided that a spontaneous trip to some warm weather is just what we needed to hit the reset button and get this marriage started on the right foot. We got ourselves some last-minute plane tickets, booked a suite at the Monte Carlo, and we are absolutely loving this chance to regroup and recover. After all this bad luck, we're sure to do well in the casinos! We're feelin lucky!

I can't wait to see what the future holds for us. There is never a dull moment!

Can Opener

In 2004, I made a wedding time capsule.

Yes, a wedding time capsule. Let me explain:

I vaguely remember putting together this time capsule at an all-girls church activity. I thought it was completely ridiculous. We assembled a few crafts and filled out some surveys, put them in a large can, glued on a label, and sealed them up. I then threw the can in my closet and didn't think about it again.

Since moving home after graduation, I found the time capsule can, but chose to ignore it.

About a month ago, Josh was in my old room and noticed the can. He was excited to see what was inside, however, I was sure the contents would be super embarrassing and I was horrified by the idea of him seeing them.

Now that we're engaged, I decided to bite the bullet, pull out the can opener, and we ventured into the can together.

The contents:

A list of my future husbands MUST HAVE qualities-- the first attribute on the list was "return missionary" because they are "HOTT!". I also included faithful, patient, lovable, fun, cute, and a faithful church goer. Josh has all of these qualities AND he's hott, so lucky me!

A list of my future children and their names--I will be having two boys with ridiculous names and a daughter named Natalie.

It also included a selection of wedding colors, a picture and sketch of a wedding dress that I liked (it looks nothing like my actual dress), and a few articles on making a marriage successful.

The best part of the time capsule was a letter from my bishop at the time, which included current events from the year 2004 (gas was $2.15 a gallon!). He also sweetly articulated the importance of the milestone I am now embarking on, and expressed his love for me. On Friday night (two days ago), Josh and I saw this former bishop at the temple. I was so excited to show off Josh and share our plans to marry in that very temple in a few short months.

Now that I've opened the time capsule and read the letter he wrote me, that encounter seems so much more significant. I feel as though I have accomplished a major goal that I set for myself 8 years ago, and I am so grateful that Josh is the one holding my hand as we take the next steps into the unknown.

This wedding time capsule seemed so ridiculous at the time (and still seems pretty ridiculous now), but I'm glad that I kept it and that I got to have the fun experience of opening it with Josh!

What a weekend! (the proposal)

Wow, this past weekend was busy and absolutely unforgettable!

On Friday, Josh and my parents and I went to Naperville's rib fest. And yes, It's exactly what it sounds like, a festival dedicated to consuming tons of ribs and all things deep fried.

We had a great time picking out our favorite ribs from the different vendors, as well as taking advantage of the free samples of chips, drinks, and pig-shaped cookies that were being distributed. The heat was pretty overwhelming but we camped out in the shade and enjoyed the live bands that played throughout the night. It was a blast, and a good opportunity for Josh and I to spend quality time with my parents.

We called it a night fairly early because we had big plans for Saturday. BIG plans.

Saturday morning we headed over to a friends house to go boating for the day. We arrived at the des plains river around 10:30 and started to prepare the boat and jet skis. Josh and I were kind enough to volunteer to test out one of the jet skis while others unloaded the boat. Riding on the back of a jet ski with Josh at the controls was quite an adventure! He zoomed and bounced on the water while I clung to his life jacket and was the worlds most annoying back seat driver. After a few minutes (and being tossed off a few times) I realized we weren't going to die and enjoyed myself a lot!

We were on the water for about an hour and there was no sign of our friends on the boat so we went to the dock to check things out. The boat hadn't left and it became apparent that it was in need of repairs and there was no mechanic on staff. We made the best of the situation by sharing the jet skis amongst our small group of friends and picnicking along the river. The morning didn't quite go as planned, but we all had a great time.

Josh and I then headed home and went our separate ways to shower and nap. We had signed up to participate in a late night bike ride in the city that began at midnight (or so we thought) so we knew a nap would be necessary.

I went to Josh's place around 3:30 with glow sticks and bikes in tow. He greeted me awkwardly ("so, how you up to?"), jumped in my car, and we drove downtown. The awkwardness continued after we parked. Josh kept saying that his shorts weren't fitting comfortably and was constantly stopping to adjust them. And when I say constantly, I mean he stopped in the middle of a crosswalk on Michigan avenue to adjust them. We found a bathroom so he could compose himself. Remember this detail, it's important later!

We ate dinner at the cafe below the bean, which was fantastic! I love being able to admire the city, enjoy the weather, and EAT. And the bean has always been "our place". We ended up there on our romantically tense first date and have loved it ever since!

After wandering around the city without much of a plan, we decided to take advantage of having our bikes and rode them to navy pier. We locked up our bikes and walked along the pier where we got ice cream and enjoyed the great views of the city.

We then took our ice cream and bikes to watch the spectacular fireworks display that navy pier does twice a week during the summer. Josh was very particular about where we sat to watch the show. It had to be secluded and far away from all other people, but still maintain an unobstructed view of the fireworks display. Keep in mind, I had no idea a proposal was coming, so I didn't really think twice about it.

After sitting and relocating several times, Josh found a spot that he thought was perfect. We were laying on the ground talking about how perfect the day was, how great the fireworks were, and of course, how much we love each other (duh!). As the finale of the show began, he said "let's stand up!!" so I stood up, and he didn't. He stayed on his knees and pulled a ring out of a baggie in his pocket. I knew he had purchased a ring, but he had told me (and all of our friends) that he wasn't going to propose until August. I was shocked and so excited, it felt surreal. It was such a sweet moment, I held onto him and didn't want to let go, and now I don't have to! He's MINE!

We rode our bikes back to the bean, snapped a few pictures, frantically changed into our biking clothes, and called our families. It was 11:30pm Chicago time so getting in contact with everyone was a little tricky, but we did it!

I later found out that Josh talked to my dad on Friday about the proposal and asked for his "permission". Of course my dad was 100% supportive, my parents adore Josh! And I know my dad appreciated the gesture. Josh is such a thoughtful man, I hit the jackpot!

Now about his shorts. I also found out later that he had taped the ring to his leg. Yes, taped. If you haven't seen Josh's legs, believe me when I say they are HAIRY. He chose tape because he knew I would be able to see the outline of a ring box in his shorts, which is definitely true. It was very clever and very much typical of Josh's fun personality. Don't worry, he assured me that he used athletic tape that is self-adhesive so it didn't rip off any leg hair. But as soon as he sat down in the car, the tape stretched. When he stood up, the tape (along with the ring) started to slide down his leg. He panicked and kept trying to tug it up as we walked, and blamed his strange behavior on his shorts. When we found a bathroom he quickly ditched his tape contraption and realized he had a small coin pocket in his shorts, in which he promptly placed the ring.

We ended the night with a bike ride that ended up starting at 2am and finished at 6:30am. It was fun to be able to see all of our friends and share our excitement with them. And hey, I had a great time attempting to flash my ring in every picture that was taken. It caused for an exhausting day at church the next morning, but we were so happy to show off the ring and tell the story, we didn't care!

I am so grateful for Josh! He is everything I could ever want and more. He makes me feel like I'm the only person in the world that matters. He's responsible, caring, driven, and has all of his priorities in line. I can tell that he genuinely loves my family, and that is an incredible feeling. I can also tell that he would do anything for his family. They are amazing people and I cannot wait to be a part of their family! His parents have been so supportive and kind and have made me feel so comfortable and at ease since we were introduced. Transitioning from being a Duffield to becoming a Cribbs is going to be a breeze thanks to their kindness and fun-loving attitudes.

I can't wait to start the rest of my life with Josh!

Beach Bums

As summer rolls on and our break comes to a close, Josh and I continue to cross activities off of our summer break to do list.

The weather has been perfect lately, so we used it as an excuse to go to the beach! Chicago has some pretty awesome beaches along lake Michigan, so visiting them is a must!

Josh and I hopped on the train in our running clothes with our swim suits in tow. We had big plans than included running along the lake, eating lunch at one of the bistros along the beach, and then sunning and running a few more miles.

That's not how our day went.

We got down town and immediately met my dad for lunch. He has a love of all ethnic foods and was presenting us with menus for different Indian restaurants, Mediterranean restaurants, and various polish diners. Silly Bruce, we can't eat ethnic right before a vigorous run! Our bodies our finely-tuned running machines! So we ate huge sub sandwiches.

We then headed towards the lake (walking slowly) and decided to sit on the beach to let our lunch digest. After all, our bodies are finely-tuned running machines and it would be irresponsible to run so full of food! We ended up ditching the run completely and just enjoyed soaking up the sunshine.

After we left the beach, we headed towards Millennium park to check out the bean and listen to a band that was playing near by. It was a blast! We think of the bean as "our place" because we ended up there on our romantically tense first date (awwwwww so tender!) so we always enjoy visiting it together. We then hopped on the train and had a relaxing ride home.

Summer break has been the best and I hate that it has to end. Thank goodness for weekends!

Road Trip!

Josh and I have been wanting to go on a road trip since early in our relationship, and this break finally gave us the opportunity to go! Picking the location was half the battle. Potential destinations ranged from the Wisconsin Dells to Washington D.C., but we finally landed on Sandusky, Ohio, the home of Cedar Point. If you aren't familiar with Cedar Point, just know that is houses some of the worlds biggest and baddest roller coasters!

We started our six hour excursion at 4 in the morning, and yes we were pretty exhausted, but we wanted to get to the park as soon as it opened at 10am. Only problem? There is a time difference we completely forgot about! So we ended up getting there at 11, which worked out just fine.

We experienced a lot of excitement on the road, including an encounter with a cop, seeing a car flip over, seeing a car on fire, and seeing a truck tire pop. Needless to say, Josh was driving with his hands on ten and two the entire time.

The day we went happened to be the first day of the season. We expected it to be packed but we were pleasantly surprised to find that it wasn't. We purchased fast passes that allowed us to cut to the front of every line and made for a max wait time of about 20 minutes. This allowed us to ride fourteen (14!!!) rides in 7 hours at the park. We kept track of each ride on our map so we could remember them all. It was unbelievable! Our heads got a little jumbled from being jerked and flipped around so much, but we popped excedrin and powered through the pain!

I think it's fair to say that Josh's favorite part of the day was getting to admire the fanny pack I wore shamelessly (he was horrified and embarrassed by it). Ladies know what a pain it is to hold a purse on a roller coaster and how scary it is to leave your purse unattended in one of those bins, and a fanny pack eliminates all of those stressors! And after our keys fell out of Josh's pocket on the second ride and we nearly lost them, he was pro fanny pack.

The ride home was fairy uneventful, but it's six hours I will never forget! I had the best time singing at the top of my lungs along side Josh and exchanging stories that helped us get to know each other even better. It was a successful trip and another event we can check off our summer to-do list!

Summer in the City

Summer in Chicago has officially begun(at least it has for me and Josh) and we celebrated by taking a much needed trip down town. The city is only 45 minutes away but we NEVER go. This changes now!

My favorite way to explore the city is on bikes. You can get from Northerly island to Wrigleyville without the annoyance of parking multiple times and without the pain and inefficiency of walking, and you get unbeatable views! Josh knows how much I love biking in the city so he accomplished the irritating feat of getting my bike rack on the car, the bikes on the rack, and driving through city traffic, all so we could have a special day in the city. And we definitely did!

The weather was spectacular. It was in the mid 70's with a breeze from the lake. absolutely perfect! We biked from Wrigleyville to navy pier where we stopped and watched small boats racing in some competition while we ate a dollar cone from McDonald's. We then headed back north and hit Lincoln park zoo (its free!) on our way. We spent a lot of time admiring the views of the city and seriously wished we had a friend with us who could have taken all the pictures we wanted, but instead we just had a stranger take one. It turned out great so I'm super psyched they were willing to help us out!

Another adventure we had on our summer to do list was go to the drive in movie. Yes, they still exist! There is one about 25 minutes from my house and it has such a fun, old feel to it. We threw a blanket in the back of my moms SUV, some pillows to sit on, and then popped the trunk and hopped in. It was such a fun thing to do. It's only 9 dollars per person and you get to see two movies, bring your own food, and enjoy the summer weather! We will definitely be doing this again soon!

We started summer off with a bang and there is a lot more fun to be had. Can't wait!

PS- in the collage picture, we're showing off our boat shoes by posing them with a potato we found on the street (who leaves a potato on the side walk? Obviously we had to take a picture).

Hey la, hey la, my boyfriend's back!

Josh is back from Houston! We were apart for 6 days and I was going crazy! It was ridiculous. but what can I say, I'm crazy about him!

I know he was sad to leave his family, so when I met him at baggage claim I brought a little taste of Texas with me! While I was with his family in Houston, his dad made us the most delicious chocolate peanut butter shakes. It was like drinking a Reese's! I thought if I could replicate the recipe, it would make the transition back to Chicago a little easier. It was a bit heavy on the peanut butter flavor (is there really such a thing as too much peanut butter?) but hey, practice makes perfect and I'm excited to practice making those shakes!

So far his time back here has been all about food. A while back Josh challenged my domestic skills. I haven't cooked for him at all while we've been dating, but we've made several meals as a team (he'd argue that he's done all the work). Today that changed! I made creamy chicken taquitos from ourbestbites.com and they were deeeelicious. I was glad to prove that I can indeed cook (I'm just lazy) and I was so excited to spoil my man. He deserves it!

Photogene2 shout out!

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Memorial day

Yesterday was memorial day. To start the day off right, our ward had a temple trip. We made the trek to glenview at 7:45am, which felt early for a holiday! It was totally worth it. The weather and grounds were beautiful and it was an uplifting start to the week!

We then went to a few barbecues where we all ate too much and enjoyed the abnormally warm weather (it was like 97 degrees!). When we managed to put down our food we took care of Taylor's miniature turtle, Raphael, who we purchased in Chinatown.

It was a great, patriotic day!